Wednesday, January 18, 2012

palliative care

silent foetus -
when you went, it was head first
severing the cord only made you grow more
at life they hunger, they beg, they claw
with refreshed firmware, just plug-and-play
like you saying through a Zeitgeist, hey, I'm ok

stillborn child-
silver-haired, but frothing the same bile
no longer the jaundiced yellow-skin, but forever blue
only green waves, breaking the humming plateau
how they crash, never to return
only foaming waste in grey machine, churn

alone I wait, here in the wings
until the most frequented went rare, and then ceased to being
ever-patient, with permanent room-and-board
one becomes just a number that they jot
so here’s to you, my last ode
then let my hands rest down on your throat
unspoken rest, ten years late
asphyxiate, asphyxiate.

an addict’s morning

auntie downs a cup of drugs
to which her lips smacks simultaneously, in their
caffeined agreement and
an experienced tongue follows, consuming every
last bit of excitement
forking her way around each hollow
like a lover’s appendage
in another
-                 - she can only fantasise

and then to conclude her daily routine with a
240-volt smile
powered by the three-pin socket
on the back of her palm-sized mirror
a spotlight that demands immediate fall-in
from her new plastic recruits
satisfied, the drill sergeant inspects her tanned veterans
at flimsy attention on stamped soil
and commands them to henta-taki twice
before pulling out a shoe brush laced with white kiwi
to flush all traces of today, tomorrow, and every other day’s high
down the porcelain sink of her forgotten youth.

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

the Queen as a victim of circumstance

mirror, mirror on the wall
who in the land is fairest of all? – Snow White and the Seven Dwarves

Battle not with monsters, lest ye become a monster, and if you gaze into the abyss, the
abyss gazes also into you. – Friedrich Nietzsche

triumphant Dictators waltzing in with both
heads held aloft
trumpeting their victories when
while treasure chests have burst at their seams
vaults can still be rented
where they are again
immortalised and savouring pride long gone
naked swashbucklers without being reminded of breaking their buckles.

virgins want to cast no coloured shadow in the reflector
that acknowledges their cubicled existence
rather prefer a stay in the anonymous dungeon cell
and its ceramic-tiled partitions
unlike certain parrots who perch up the highest rung and reign
with talons wide open, even on the shoulders of their giants.

yet all lasses eventually skip to the loo
(collectively because they are too afraid to face themselves alone)
dainty darlings who between hops and spins to draw applause
question their art privately in a studio of mirrors
isn’t ballet supposed to be choreographed so?
still when it comes to en pointe
all they can hear are commands to spread or lift
and work them for grunts of approval.

when exile comes via infirmity
they’re bestowed Her Majesties in lone thrones
abandon polishing to slice apple skin
vain attempts to prevent fair maidens from committing the same sin
but only divining one count behind or in front
condemned to the same time-lapsed pirouette dance.

Saturday, October 29, 2011

close one eye.

no wins, no mentions, so everything's out in the open.

You died
Starving
Not the only one
with a three second memory.

Scavenged treasure chests
deserve a sea burial, no less
opening the creaky hinge
I stare into (my own) greed already sunk
and then I walk you 9 storeys high
to plank you down in refuse

while you sailed your membraned globe
I was the lone constellation, the northern star
the one sailors of your kind worship, devouring
your radiance with beige palm-shaped clouds
when it pleases me -
yet darkness engulfs us both

I peer into my blinkered periscope and observe
how your scurvied skeleton surface
when I drop rusty depth charges that are
defused, with equal parts desperation,
disdain, and contempt
you’ve lost your bearings, and so too my moral heading

I remember now
what Guilt forgot
obfuscated under a childish grin of
smoke and mirrors and
a selective eyepatch.

Friday, October 21, 2011

what's your motivation?

everytime there's a slight, nurse that internal fury and fester it deep down inside, until an explosion into something beautiful. spurred on, just to prove everyone (and no one) in particular, dead wrong. there is, and must be, a universal arbiter. or just build the damned system that respects you.

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

grandma’s in Wonderland.

something i submitted for movingwords, but it didn't win. I suppose for good reasons: a somewhat magical, imaginative leap of dementia, with a sprinkling of artistic and factual liberty. on the other hand, i did win the Before We Forget Photo Challenge, which perhaps was an all-together weaker competition. I would have preferred this though. But it still makes for a good combination.

Mad hatter
Buck-toothed, crazy-eyed,
even logic’s said its good-bye.
Literary nonsense couldn’t prepare us more
For You licking gruel off the ground floor

Track-marked face
North-south, or East-West?
now the cheshire cat asks in jest.
your habitual grandson-to-grandson trips a month ago
that’s when Your mind’s concession decided to go

We can afford it
A private car, private carriage,
only when your mind’s turned to cabbage.
Grant you your shimmery rosary beads
Drawn by a foreign tanned steed

Your last
Train is coming, train is coming
In case of emergency, press to hear the fat lady sing.
Or if You’d prefer, I have Your storybook, let’s go
Thud-thud-thud-again, down the Rabbit Hole

Monday, July 18, 2011

because every dog has its day.

because between a taxi-driver and a factory worker, between sharing 6 years of education culminating in a PSLE certificate, between a 3-room HDB flat that we can never seem to get out of, between hilarious attempts at learning (broken) english greetings, between life, till now, and the sum of its parts, between sorry-i-can't-take-you-to-another-continent-but-at-least-a-malay-palace-with-a-head-of-state, we can finally look back and laugh, with hope, pride, and vindication.

Friday, April 29, 2011

scrutinise the party manifestos, okay?

sick and tired of 'concerned' Singaporeans groveling for concrete ideas (instead of vague rhetoric) from the incumbent or the opposition. Perhaps efforts spent espousing your political alignment would be better served googling for more information. The net, unfortunately, makes it much easier to whine than to click search.

PAP
Additional government policies - to its credit

WP

NSP

SDP

SPP

SDA

Sunday, October 31, 2010

City of Buzz, Revisited.

A repost of the article that I wrote for the Enquirer, unedited. Not that I feel my points were murdered or bastardised, hardly so. But sometimes seeing the points in conjunction enables a better train of thought and transmission of ideas, rather than them being disjointed by breaks and spaces. Which, unfortunately, is what the nature of news is still unable to provide for. And that's when blogs step up.

Building the City of Buzz – Concrete Instructions Please

Senior Minister Goh Chok Tong threw down the gauntlet yesterday to NTU students - to build and imagine a future for Singapore as a “City of Buzz”. Singapore has grown from a third-world backyard to the first-world nation, and it is now up to the current generation to take Singapore further, he said.

Except the current crop are clueless architects in the wider scheme of things. Even when weaned off the mother’s milk, we still stand in the long shadow of a paternal government.

SM Goh spoke of the importance of a good, strong government that can be trusted to “look after your lives”. Only then can the “bottom-up buzz” that the government seeks to grow flourish.

Undoubtedly, the “hardware” is up. The Senior Minister spoke at length about the government’s efforts in creating an infrastructure and economy that can support buzz at a grassroots level. The “software”, then, would need to be implemented by the people.

So What’s the New Buzzword?

Which begs the question, how do we define the ‘bottom-up buzz’? Is it solely buzz generated by the people, or must it be supported by the government?

Unfortunately, SM Goh spent the better half of his speech totalling up Singapore’s recent successes. Students were left hanging on the exact kind of buzz that Singapore needed, which explained the recurring theme of the Q&A session. It centred on concocting the right kind of buzz in areas such as civil and political participation and the arts scene.

There are clearly approved buzz and those that aren’t, such as the droning of vuvuzelas. Certain brands of criticism are not as welcome. Where then to draw such a distinction is still unclear. Ng Wai Mun, a Year 4 student at the Wee Kim Wee School of Communications and Information, brought out a similar point when she asked whether the ‘buzz’ that the government was encouraging included a certain amount of chaos and creativity.

In response, SM Goh emphasised the need to maintain a sufficient amount of control through “step-by-step” deregulation instead. It seemed to imply that an invisible hand was at play in moulding what the government thinks is the appropriate type of buzz.

Organically Grown – But By Whom?

Indeed, much of the current ‘buzz’ can be considered artificially generated by the government. The Senior Minister mentioned Duxton Hill, which now oozed “financial buzz” after being cleaned of vice and sleaze. Yet, some might contend that such areas reflect the real Singapore beneath the shimmery surface.

Furthermore, the government took the lead in transforming “a cultural desert only for makan” into an oasis in Asia. But how much of that oasis is left for the touristic consumption and how much for genuine local nostalgia is anyone’s guess.

The Youth Olympic Games also showed how our sporting talents took second-place behind the much-vaunted need to showcase and promote Singapore. The development of the sporting culture seemed like more of an afterthought, a bonus to Singapore. One just needs to remember the sorry state of the National Stadium and the current FAS troubles to realise that. Buzz that has little economic potential just isn’t worth the government throwing its weight behind it.

Economic imperatives have ruled the day Singapore won its independence. The common wisdom doesn’t seem to have changed much. Buzz seems to be appropriate as long as it doesn’t meddle with the government’s magic formula of stability and progress.

It is essential to have citizenry buy-in into this vision of buzz. So long that the population deems the creation to be entirely artificial and only within accepted government parameters, the “bottom-up buzz” that it hopes for will never take flight. If not implemented with the human factor, buzz might just dissolve into pure hype and marketing, which fails to translate into tangibles.

Not Yet Ready to Leave the Nest

Some ground sentiment expressed dissatisfaction at “stupid” questions being tabled in the Forum. Macro issues of paramount importance were neglected in favour of micro concerns that should be more appropriate somewhere else. Yet, that is just a reflection of the conundrum at heart: has the authorities opened enough channels in engaging us, or do we lack the initiative to voice our concerns, since the government has always specified the correct route of action?

The Senior Minister also dropped a hefty election hint when he called upon NTU students to think hard and decide the kind of government they want to make it work, especially if they want to pass on all the problems they have to the government. But judging from the audience, we already know.

A complete schematic of a city on a silver platter, please. If the government has held our hand every step of the way, why stop now? The obedient child only gets spanked when he’s out of line. And this line is increasingly blurred as the government plays a game of hopscotch: one step forward in deregulating, and one step back when it deems certain buzz inappropriate.

Bottoms-Up to Bottom Up

Rome wasn’t built in one day, and Singapore isn’t likely to either. But for Singapore to truly succeed in being a “City of Buzz” for everyone, someone has to stop passing the buck, and build the bridges that really matter. Perhaps the ‘buzz’ needed, is to better market the channels between the government and the people.

When Alvin Pee, a Year 3 student from Aerospace Engineering, bemoaned the lack of avenues available for Singaporeans to be heard, SM Goh responded that the engagement process was always there. Whether citizens use it or not is up to their initiative.

The Feedback Unit has shed its image of being a government mouthpiece, but it is still essentially an avenue only for the elite, students, and the politically and socially concerned. Previous resources, obviously, should not be allocated mindlessly for widespread consultations on minor policy decisions. Such a process would no doubt curtail the efficiency of the government. But when it comes to policies such as HOTA, which affects everybody intimately, including the common man on the street, perhaps it would be better for the government to actively engage the citizenry on such issues, rather than relying on existing mechanisms.

Monday, October 11, 2010

question.

Why am I paying the school for my internship, even if I self-source? It's not as if their industrial contacts represent the golden guildhouses of Singapore, nor has NTU's administrative support been extremely forthcoming when it comes to job scopes and crucial information regarding PI.